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Dear College Board,

At first, I was going to write something hateful about how you should shove that damn acorn up your ass. But then, I calmed down a bit. After the initial shock of returning home hit me, I realized it meant I was finally done with school. How exciting is that?! You see, I just took your AP Biology exam and while I was at first very angry that I wasted my morning on it, I realized I think I actually might have passed it. So, College Board, thank you for making this year's AP Bio test so very tailored to my interests. That essay on viruses was especially lovely because I know enough random facts about them that I could easily just bullshit the entire thing. And now, I don't ever have to ever take another one of your tests again! So I just wanted to leave you with something you'll remember me by, College Board:


Hugs and Kisses~


Usually, I try to keep my fangirling to a minimum but, considering I've spent the better part of my day reading up on Darkside Chronicles, I just really had to get all this out of my system:

Cut for CRUISE CONTROLCollapse )

Okay, now that that's done with, there is a part of me that wants to say "Capcom I am disappoint". Mostly, it's the part of me that noticed the scales Birkin evidently has on his infected hand now. Seriously, the top part looks like it belongs on a tyrant and he has, like, a hunter's forearm or something. And while I wish I could show some willpower and just rent it in an attempt to stop being an enabler for these Chronicles games, I already know that I'll be waiting outside GameStop at midnight just to get to buy it first. I can't help it; Birkin's been my favorite since I was eight. If I could stop, I would okay?! *starts sobbing*

In all seriousness, if you haven't seen the trailers, shame on you. Go watch them right now. They're gorgeous, the graphics are damn near stunning, and the voice acting sounds pretty good so far.

Darkside Chronicles: It comes out some time in early 2010. Y'all already know I'll be counting down the days.

/v/idya gaems

I've essentially been spending the past several weeks on /v/ when I've been studying for biology killing time and I've learned something. Every RE5 thread on there inevitably becomes one of the following:

  • Chris vs. Leon.
  • Sheva/Blond!Jill porn dump.
  • Mercinaries.
  • HUNK and/or Merchant and/or Barry fanthread.
  • RE5 isn't a real RE game! RE(insert number/collection of letters here) was the best of the series! Capcom has failed since then. Do any of you remember when RE was actually a survival horror?
  • Bitching about Quicktime Events/AI/Final boss.

I've read probably about 50 threads since RE5 has been released and there is no variety beyond this. Some of the things that have been posted in said threads have been awesome and hilarious and, frankly, I've probably saved about half of the pictures people have posted since the RE shitsorm started.

Genuinely, I have no idea if this is a complaint or what. It's kinda fun the way it is. Or maybe I'm just totally apathetic at this point.

Need Moar Rants

Sup, f!list? I just noticed I haven't ranted about anything in a while so I figured I should work on that shit. Today's tirade was inspired by something one of my online friends started talking about a few nights ago: "Hey, RE: Umbrella Chronicles, Y SO FAILTASTIC?" Personally, I liked the game itself. I like Resident Evil, I like on-rails shooters; it's a win-win situation, right?


The voice acting was off the chain and I don't mean that in the good way. I mean it in the "Those guys belong in chains for the atrocious crimes they have committed to my childhood" type of way. Now, I'm willing to cut the guy who did Wesker in UC some slack. He has already served his time making Wesker not fail in RE5. He was awesome in RE5. So, even though I more or less tortured myself for the 10-or-so hours of gameplay listening to Failtastic!Wesker talking to himself about the most asinine things, I can't say that he's a bad voice actor anymore. Sure, in UC he sounds like an American trying to sound British trying to sound American, but Wesker returns to phone sex god status in no time. Don't worry fangirls.

This brings me to the meat of my little rant. It's about a character that's usually vastly under appreciated and I'm damn sure I'm one of the only people who gives a shit, but, Capcom, you cannot just keep changing a 35 year-old man's voice every game you stick him in. I know Birkin doesn't appear that much, but, he has had a different voice actor in all three games he's shown up in. You just can't do that. All these events with him take place from July of 1998 to September of 1998. Even if he wasn't a middle aged man who's voice probably hasn't changed in a damn long time, that dramatic of a change cannot happen in that short of a period of time. In July, Birkin sounds like that little kid I used to beat up for his lunch money, but in September, he magically has a voice that rivals Morgan Freeman's.

Please, Capcom, I beg you. Rehire Diego Matamoros. He has such a lovely voice. Hell, when I was eight, I was madly in love with that voice and to an extent I still am. Really, he hasn't done anything in the world of film since 2007. For Darkside Chronicles, I better hear a repeat performance from the real Birkin. Or, hell, gimme the guy who did it in RE0, at least! He may not have been quite as... Well, you know, but damn it, he was a step up from the overly-clingy, pouting, pathetic, 16-year-old girl Birkin I had to put up with in Umbrella Chronicles.

He sounds desperate and the mad scientist I grew up with was never desperate. I mean, really, everything he says is basically a thinly-veiled, "NUUU! WESKER DON'T LEAVE ME! I NEEDS YOU!!! ;_;" To which I promptly responded, "No, fuck that. Sure, you're friends, damn it, but for Godssakes man, stand on your own two feet! You don't need anyone! Show some fucking backbone, you idiot!" And then I realized that he was trapped inside my TV and no matter how loud I yelled, he would never hear me. I cried a little. On the inside.

Long story short, Capcom, allow me to quote my friend: Birkin and Wesker fail = DO NOT WANT. Do your job and keep your villains the same brand of awesome they've always been. Thank you, and good night.

I Love My Mom Right Now

So I finally forced my mom to watch Wall-E and she kept saying the most hilarious things throughout the movie. I have decided to share them with you all.

Cut for Length and My Mother's Dirty MouthCollapse )

Love of a Spartan Chapter Two Spork

I started this spork on badfic_quotes and I wanted to do the whole thing because... The Sueness of this fic is like... There's no metaphor that's bad enough so I'll just say it's a really crappy, Suey fic.

So, yes, crapter 2. Sporks in bold.

She's a Big Girl Now.Collapse )

Oh No. He's Onto Me.

Here is a conversation I had today with my boyfriend:

Me: *LOLs*
Him: more man secks? [He knows that when I laugh, I'm usually talking to my friend about something slashy.]
Me: no actually
Him: or are you onto eachother secks?
Me: just master chief beating up godzilla
Him: ....
Him: you know master chief gets you off
Me: korean marketing campaigns are fucked up
Me: and im not even dignifying that last thing with a response
Him: your not denying it either
Me: yes
Me: yes i am
Me: this is me denying it
Him: maybe ill dress up in a mojlinr suit for prom
Me: do it
Me: EVERYone will know you are my boyfriend
Him: buy it for me
Him: im broke
Me: so am i
Him: then no suit
Me: i
Me: i have nothing to say to that
Him: lemme see what she said [My friend, that is.]
Me: "youve gotta check this out. you will die laughing! http://www.xbox360fanboy.com/2007/08/31/some-scary-halo-3-marketing-in-korea/ "
Me: and she was very right

So, three things: 1. Click that link. It's beyond hilarious.
2. Oh no. My boyfriend knows my terrible kinky secret.</sarcasm> Puh-lease. I'm totally not into the Chief. ...Really. ...I swear! ...Okay, maybe a little. I'm just saying, if he was real and showed up on my doorstep, I totally wouldn't say no. Actually, I'd removed that cod-piece so fast, his head would spin.
3. He spelled MJOLNIR wrong. *twitch* No, self, don't correct him. It's not worth being called a loser again.
I love my boyfriend to death but he is apparently the most oblivious person on the planet. And here I thought I was dating some hardcore Halo fan who actually understood me. *sigh*

I was talking about Bungie's obsession with the number 7 and he apparently didn't know about that at all. I met a freaking 7th grader today who was talking about that with me. (Hurr there's another one.) I mean, hell, I thought that was obvious. Didn't Bungie even talk about that once before? Whatever. Then I found out he's never read any of the books. I wanted to punch him over the internet. Sure you get to kill aliens and there's blood and stuff but that's only half of why I actually like the game. If it didn't have a good story with good characters, I wouldn't even say I liked Halo. The fact that no one ever bothers to praise campaign mode is the reason I didn't play Halo for a few years. Stupid men and their obliviousness to anything with a plot...

Also, I went into Borders today to buy me a Cole Protocol and it was, like, the biggest Borders I had ever seen. I was like an amish person at Circuit City. Aaaand! They sold some of the Halo 3 action figures. No Arbiter though, so I figured I could hold out. Besides, I have no space in my room anyway so... Yeah... The Chief would just get burried under piles of dirty clothes and I don't think he'd like it if a bra landed on his head...

Ooh, but I did something awesome! They had a collection of those Twilight books on this gigantic display near the Fantasy/Sci-Fi section, so I decided to fix the display: I grabbed a handful of the Halo novels and put them in front of that Stephanie Meyer garbege. If you're gonna read trashy fantasy novels, you might as well read entertaining trashy fantasy novels, that's what I always say. Yes, I think the Halo novels are trashy. Enternaining and awesome but God the literary level is like a picture book compared to what I usually have to read. Not that that's a complaint but, you know, Eric Nylund is no Charles Dickens... Uh... This is why we can't have nice things!!1!


Holy Sangheili Warriors, Batman!

Thel? What. The. Bloody. Fucking. Hell. Hey look, I rhymed with the utter lameness that is the Arbiter's actual name. Goddamn it Bungie, no freaking wonder no one likes him; Thel is a name only a mother could love.

I really doubt I could stand buying the Cole Protocol now, simply because if I see "Thel" in print, I'd actually have to come to terms with the fact that it really is the Arbiter's name.

Once again: Thel? I am writing such a letter to whoever came up with that. Thank God he is technically stripped of his name because I would hate to have a tombstone that says Thel on it. 'Vadamee I can totally handle. Thel is not handle-able. It is sad and sick as far as I am concerned.


Damn It Sakaki! T_T

I recently started watching Azumanga Daioh and may I just say, it's hilarious and adorable and I love it to bits. But. And it's a big but.

WTF Sakaki!? It's supposed to be a comedy! Stop making me cry every damn time you come on screen! And that culture festival episode with the stuffed animals... I seriously wept like a fucking baby. I think I'm going to teach myself how to make a pair of stuffed animals like that. I don't know why, but she's very quickly becoming my favorite character. Maybe it has something to do with the whole "classmates assuming the quiet girl is too cool for friends" thing...

Oh, Sakaki... I wonder if Kaorin would still be completely in love with you if she learned how much you like cats and cuteness?